Knowing the outcome, Jiang Nanshu tried to force a smile, but in the end, she bent her head downwards, her lips trembling slightly. She wanted to say something, but her throat felt choked with turmoil.
“Okay.” She replied softly.
“Okay… I understand.”
Jiang Nanshu stood up, her slightly curly black hair cascading behind her as she walked out step by step.
From the moment she met Zhou Yanxu, he had been her salvation.
She had pursued him for a very long, long time, and after his death, it had become an obsession.
When she was in the car accident, her last thought was that she was sorry to Zhou Yanxu as she hadn’t taken his ashes back to his hometown.
Zhou Yanxu had saved her life. He had been involved in her growth and life. There were no women around him. He always used his heart condition as an excuse to refuse arranged marriages from his family.
When Jiang Nanshu turned fifteen, she confessed her love to Zhou Yanxu.
She told him to wait for her to grow up, and she would marry him when she did.
At that time, his expression was bewildered and complex, and his smile finally dissolved into a single sentence: “Childish talk! By the time you grow up, I’ll be old.”
“I don’t care. Age won’t hold me back.”
She spoke with such conviction back then, her eyes gleaming with a determined light, as if she knew that once she came of age, Zhou Yanxu would no longer treat her like a child.
A week after this incident…
He died.
Age is not an obstacle, but death is.
She reached out and leaned against the wooden door frame. The cold rain and wind made her hair messy, and the sandalwood scent at the tip of her nose grew fainter and fainter.
Jiang Nanshu turned to look at him. Zhou Yanxu’s skin was very fair, and the veins on the back of his hand, which were resting on the prayer beads, were clearly visible.
Jiang Nanshu’s lips curled into a mocking smile: “Don’t be attached, don’t be attached.”
“Zhou Yanxu.”
She turned around, bowed slightly to him, and said, word by word, “Nanshu has learned a lot.”
When she looked up again, her slightly red eyes had returned to indifference.
She ran out as fast as she could.
Zhou Yanxu saw the tears trickling down her chin, which she quickly wiped away.
He remained seated without moving.
He lowered his eyes to the brown Buddhist beads he was holding, which then fell apart and scattered on the ground in the next moment.
Zhou Yanxu’s face paled even further.
He took three incense sticks and tried to light them before the Buddha statue.
He tried to light it, but the white smoke quickly went out. He couldn’t get it to light no matter what he did.
The incense was a little damp.
Zhou Yanxu put the extinguished incense sticks back into the incense burner.
He smiled at the Buddha statue and muttered to himself, “I no longer want to love all living beings.”
The consciousness of God has no concrete form. It was the little Jiang Nanshu, who had a strong will to survive, who summoned him. In the freezing cold, he touched her head and from then on existed as her guardian deity, protecting her until she reached adulthood.
He came because of her, and he would leave because of her.
Zhou Yanxu thought, even if he lied, it wouldn’t matter because he wouldn’t live to see Jiang Nanshu reach adulthood.
So he was destined not to see her grow up, nor to marry her.
This present time was what he had bought with his life. Perhaps it would only last three years, perhaps only five. He would vanish, leaving no trace. The girl is so young. How can she accept the many years that will pass without him?
It was raining outside, and he wondered if the girl would be able to find shelter from the rain properly.
The thought flashed through his mind, and he followed her out.
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Sam Williams On TYMIMA Chapter 152