TGDS Chapter 78.2

The Good Dad System (Arc 11) Chapter 78.2: A Patriarchal Family (5)

Pei Naochun continued, “So let’s lend the teddy bear to your little brother for a while, so he stops crying. Daddy will get it back for you later, or maybe buy you another one, okay? If you don’t want it, Daddy will get it back for you.”

He was extremely serious; in fact, this was a crucial step. Many adults often feel that as the head of the household, they can take things as they please. What’s wrong with giving something away, even to a stranger, let alone a younger brother? Besides, no matter what they take from a child, ultimately, it’s still something the adults paid for. They can just buy another one. Once this mentality takes hold, it easily harms the child. For children, possession is a state of being. They often have emotional attachments to toys and other things around them, and many even consider their toys as playmates or treasures. This can cause significant harm.

Regardless of whether his daughter truly cherished the teddy bear, informing and requesting its return was a very important first step.

“It’s okay, Dad.” Pei Xiaoping always spoke softly. She smiled, revealing a pretty dimple. “It’s fine for my little brother to play with. I’m a big girl now, I don’t need these things.”

“Our Xiaoping is so good.” Pei Naochun smiled and patted his daughter’s head, making a promise. “Then Dad will pinky swear with you that Dad will get it back for you, or buy you a new one, okay?” He held out his hand firmly.

“No need, it’s fine for my little brother.” Pei Xiaoping wanted to refuse again, but she couldn’t persuade her father. She obediently held out her hand, interlocking her fingers with her father’s, and they made a promise together.

Their thumbs, one big and one small, touched together, and Pei Naochun smiled and said, “Seal it.” His eyes were full of tenderness as he looked at his daughter.

It was one thing for his son to be young and not understand, but the adults were already sensible. Even though his daughter was happy to “share,” this sharing should be rewarded with love, not taken for granted.

Pei Naochun hesitated, looking at his wife and mother who were still coaxing Pei Zihao. An idea formed in his mind, hesitantly.

…

Peijia Village in Heping Township, as the name suggests, has a majority of its residents surnamed Pei. According to research, this has historical roots. It is said that a branch of the Pei family migrated here together due to war, and settled down, gradually growing and expanding. They even built an ancestral hall and wrote a genealogy.

With the reform and opening up, by the early 1990s, many villagers had gone to work in other places to improve their living standards. This also affected the family customs. The traditional ancestral worship and tomb sweeping were often moved to around the Spring Festival, otherwise, how could so many people gather?

The original owner’s father had passed away less than a year ago, so this year’s Spring Festival for the Pei family was a bit “modest” than in previous years. They didn’t spend too much money, just made simple decorations and the family gathered together for a meal. However, there are three years of traditions associated with this, and before the New Year, they still need to sweep the tombs, so they need to prepare at least a dozen bowls of offerings, making the meal relatively abundant.

Although the government had issued documents advocating cremation, the villagers, due to the mountainous location, turned a deaf ear and pretended not to know, continuing to bury people in the back mountains. The original owner’s father’s grave was also in the back mountains.

The higher up the mountain, the more people there were. According to local custom, people would gather here for tea and meals from the morning of the 29th of the lunar year until noon. Going straight ahead, one would arrive at Father Pei’s grave. The tombstone had already been erected, made of a bluish-gray stone slab, with Father Pei’s name recorded in the family genealogy engraved on it. In fact, the original owner didn’t quite understand it, only knowing that the village’s tombstones were all inscribed with titles like “Pei Mou Gong,” and the signature at the end was Pei Naochun’s name alone.

Upon arriving, Wu Guizhi began to wail. She had prepared a towel beforehand, wiping the dust from the tombstone as she cried out, saying things like, “You left so early, leaving me all alone.” Tang Zhaodi, on the other hand, suddenly transformed into a strong woman, kneeling with her son in one arm and her daughter in the other, tears streaming down her face, saying something about wishing her father-in-law a peaceful journey.

Pei Naochun’s eyes also quickly filled with tears. The profound influence the original owner had on his father still affected his heart. He silently squatted down and began arranging the dishes.

As mentioned before, the village cemeteries were all on the back mountain. Many families had come up, and after looking around, they could see many familiar figures from the original owner’s memories. Once on the mountain, the main force consisted mostly of women. The men mostly did things like leveling the soil around the graves or removing weeds. The women had much more to do: burning incense and paper money, cleaning the cloth offerings, and mastering many traditional customs.

For Pei Naochun’s family, Father Pei’s grave was just the first stop. There were still several graves to clean, including those of Pei’s grandfather and great-grandfather.

When they finished their work and looked back, those unattended graves would stand out, overgrown with weeds and covered in dust, many even with cobwebs and other such things growing on them.

“Naochun, what are you looking at?” Wu Guizhi’s eyes were red. She had cried her heart out today, leaving her exhausted. Seeing her son staring blankly at the mountain, she followed his gaze and turned around. She noticed the same thing as her son: “Look at those houses! So pitiful. This is what happens when a family line ends; there’s no one to even pay respects.”

In the past, when she and her husband went up the mountain and saw these things, she couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness, fearing that she would face the same scene after her death. But now, with Pei Zihao around, she could speak from a higher perspective.

Pei Naochun didn’t say anything; his memory was flooded with local customs and traditions.

Tang Zhaodi also came over, holding her son. Although her back ached, she stood tall: “Yes, so pitiful.” Her eyes were full of sympathy.

“Extinction of the family line” refers to families without children or only daughters. According to local custom, even their tombstones can only be erected using the names of close nephews or peers, and afterwards, no one comes to pay respects. For the locals who strictly adhere to these customs, this is arguably the cruelest punishment.

Before Pei Naochun fully received the original owner’s memories, he had doubts. He couldn’t understand why having a daughter was considered “extinction of the family line,” since having sons or daughters was the same. But after receiving the original owner’s memories, he finally understood where this idea came from—though he didn’t agree with it.

In Pei Family Village, families with only daughters, unless they were adopted into the family, would have their daughters marry into nearby villages—ten or eight out of ten people in the village were surnamed Pei, and they were all related, so how could they marry into each other? However, the customs of the nearby villages were also very similar, and the day for paying respects to ancestors was the same. If the daughter married far away, it was even simpler; she wouldn’t even have time to come back.

Even when a daughter first marries, she might still cherish the family’s tradition of ancestor worship and return to visit the graves. But what about after that? Even the most filial daughter can hardly keep up. For decades, the annual trip back to the village to sweep the graves on the back hill has been abandoned, with no one to perform the rituals or even burn paper money. This tradition has also ended, making the family line truly extinct.

Of course, Pei Naochun, being from the future, was somewhat confused. Burning paper money, offering incense, and performing ancestor worship are all forms of psychological comfort. Who can guarantee that the deceased can truly receive these rituals? Besides, after death, one’s feet are lifted, and one is buried in the earth. Who knows what happens after death?

But in Pei Family Village—or rather, in many villages and households—there are many similar customs. For example, after a person dies, there are many customs regarding who should carry the memorial tablet. Women cannot carry the tablet; it must be done by a man. There are also customs about placing the tablet in the ancestral hall and offering the first incense. In short, these things, which Pei Naochun might find strange, are precisely what many people pursue in their lives.

Furthermore, in Peijia Village, there is almost no custom of daughters providing for their parents in old age. This “old age” doesn’t refer to the financial support or caregiving that most people imagine; it means actually living with someone, even when they’re not sick, sharing meals and water. The saying “a married daughter is like water spilled from a bowl” is widely accepted. If a daughter is willing to provide financial support and filial piety, that’s a good thing. If you foolishly go and live with your daughter and son-in-law, that’s considered reckless, immature, and lacking in manners!

Daughters are expected to care for their parents-in-law, just as daughters-in-law should care for their parents—this is an age-old principle they firmly believe in.

With this mindset, any family that hasn’t had a son is filled with anxiety. They think day and night about who will care for them as they age.

Before Pei Zihao was born, the couple often talked about this in bed every day. Later, they even learned self-comforting techniques, saying things like their daughter would marry into another family in the future. But after Pei Zihao was born, it was like the clouds had parted and the moon was shining through; all their worries disappeared.

“That’s why I say, Zhaodi, you are a great contributor to our Pei family!” Wu Guizhi affectionately moved closer to Tang Zhaodi and reached out to touch Pei Zihao’s little head. “With Zihao, not only can I die in peace, but I can die with my eyes closed!”

For the first ten years of her life, she revolved around her younger brother, almost giving him her heart and soul. For the next twenty years or so, she revolved around her husband, raising their son for him. And now, with a grandson, she can start revolving around her grandson!

Tang Zhaodi still held her daughter in one hand, her smile full of pride. Before she gave birth to a son, every time she returned to her parents’ home, she was met with criticism and worry. Both her mother and sister were concerned for her, fearing that she would be kicked out of the house because she didn’t have a son. You see, with the opening up, the social atmosphere changed. Many men changed wives after making money, and that was no joke. She tried almost every means possible, from incense ash water to praying to shamans to fertility secrets. As long as she could find out about it, she would try to find a way. Unexpectedly, she found a way out of her predicament!

Her eyes were filled with tenderness as she looked at her son: “Our Zihao is truly a lucky star for the family.” She then reminded her daughter, “Xiaoping, you must take good care of your little brother. When he grows up, he’ll be your pillar of strength!”

Tang Zhaodi didn’t think her words were wrong; they were based on her own experience. Before her brother arrived, the sisters were constantly ridiculed, and their mother was always in tears and had a bad temper. Only after their brother arrived could the family finally stand tall. Besides, having a son made all the difference; if anything happened, her brother would be there to help!

Pei Xiaoping seemed to understand, but she only knew that her brother was very important.

Pei Naochun couldn’t stand it anymore. He bent down, picked up his daughter, and joked, “Doesn’t Xiaoping depend on me? As long as I earn more money, what problems will there be in the future?”