SES Chapter 149 Part 1

Chapter 149

Mu Dai kept her head down, her hands slowing as she packed her things. After a long pause, she muttered, “Oh.”

“Why are you willing to talk to Dr. He,” Luo Ren asked quietly, “but not to me?”

Mu Dai didn’t want to talk, but something in Luo Ren’s tone told her that today, she wasn’t going to be able to avoid it.

She took a deep breath. “Because I don’t want to use my own spear to pierce my own shield.”

She had once told Luo Ren herself: The best time for two people to be together is when you like me, and I like you too.

So, if that mutual liking wasn’t certain, the logical conclusion was to separate—or not to start at all.

The thought alone made her irritated. Even now, bringing it up again, she felt that same frustration rise.
“If it’s something I’m not even sure of myself, why would I bring it up? If I can sort it out, then it’s fine. If I can’t, I’ll deal with it later. Why do I have to talk about it? Why?”

Luo Ren couldn’t help but laugh.

Mu Dai was actually getting angry—really angry. It was the first time he’d seen her like this, eyebrows drawn tight, restless, trapped in her own emotions.

He burst out laughing and pulled her into his arms, but this time she struggled, refusing to be held.

Luo Ren leaned close to her ear and asked softly, “Were you mad about what happened last night?”

Mu Dai’s cheeks flushed, and she bit her lip without answering.

“You must not have been. Otherwise, you would’ve slapped me—or stabbed me.”
He paused. “But what if it hadn’t been me last night? What if it were Yi Wansan or Cao Yanhua instead?”

Mu Dai immediately flared up. “What nonsense are you talking about!”

Luo Ren laughed, lowering his head to brush his lips against hers. She was too annoyed to care, trying to turn away, but he wrapped one arm around her waist and the other around the back of her neck, keeping her still.

He didn’t kiss her, though—he only bit her lower lip lightly, enough to make her remember.

Then he said, “When you walk down the street and see a flower blooming, you bend down to smell it. When a fly comes buzzing by, you swat it away.”

“Liking or disliking something is instinct. You don’t need your brain to decide.”

Mu Dai stayed silent, but she stopped struggling. Luo Ren knew that meant she was listening. When she really listened, she became obedient, calm—she was a clever girl, one who understood once she saw the point.

“Liking only differs in degree. Even the tiniest bit of it is still liking. No one is half in and half out. If you think you are, it just means your sense of self isn’t whole—you still subconsciously see yourself as two people, as a simple one plus one.”

His words stung. Mu Dai looked up, eyes faintly red, but she stubbornly said, “I’m just one person.”

Luo Ren hugged her closer, tucking her head against his chest. His voice softened. “Yes. You’re one person.”

His gaze fell on the strap of her bag, and the flare of emotion in his chest slowly cooled—
Based on experience, it was about time to take things deeper.

He said gently, “If anything ever happens, you can talk to me. Mu Dai, I’m not just your boyfriend—I’m your friend too. Even if we can’t stay together, I’ll still want to give you advice as a friend. I’ll always want what’s best for you.”

Mu Dai’s voice was quiet. “Luo Ren, you like explaining things to me, don’t you?”

“Do I?”

“You do.” She thought for a moment. “It’s like… you’re always trying to teach me how to do things.”

Luo Ren smiled. He didn’t even know why, but something in him felt wistful at her words.

He let her go and stepped back a little to look at her.

The flashlight lay off to the side, its beam weak and hazy. Most of her face was swallowed by shadow, but her eyes still shone bright.

She was his girl—the girl who had crossed the dark to find him, who had run through forest and marsh in her hurry, but had stopped right before reaching him, standing there quietly, full of hope.

He said softly, “Mu Dai, I’ve been through more than you. I don’t claim to be absolutely right, but I’ve learned a few things that work. I want to teach you—not just life lessons, but everything I know. From survival skills and self-defense to little tricks and shortcuts—I’d give it all to you if I could.”

“Because if one day something happens—if I die in an accident, or something beyond my control takes me—and I know you can use what I taught you to solve problems, to get through hardships… then it’ll feel like I’m still taking care of you.”

If he had to pass through someone’s life but couldn’t stay,
he wanted the things he left behind to be good, to be useful.
He wanted her to be stronger because he had existed—
that when he was there, he could hold the umbrella,
and when he wasn’t, she’d still smile through the rain,
not break down just because the umbrella was gone.

Mu Dai looked at him steadily. “Luo Xiaodao… did something happen?”

Luo Ren smiled but said nothing. Suddenly, he didn’t want to leave her at all.

If he went to the Philippines with Aoki this time and didn’t make it back,
he knew that, in his final moment, she would be the one he thought of.

Mu Dai said softly, “If something’s wrong, you have to tell me. I can protect you too.”

Luo Ren laughed suddenly, not even sure why.

Mu Dai sighed. “You don’t believe me. Luo Xiaodao, why don’t you believe I can become strong too?”

Luo Ren nodded. “Mm. You’re strong.”

He drew her close again, brushing his fingers over her cheek, then down her neck, until they touched a cool chain. He pinched the pendant and pulled it out—a small pearl whistle.

He smiled. “Let me play you something nice.”

He put the whistle to his lips and blew.

Mu Dai’s eyes widened. It was just an ordinary whistle—but when normal people blew it, it made one flat, straight tone. Luo Ren’s, though, rippled—one breath, three shifts in pitch, the sound rising and falling like waves.

When she tried it later, hers was always a plain whoo—like a school whistle at assembly.

“How do you do that?” she asked. “Is it how you breathe? Or do you move your tongue a certain way?”