After a long silence, he let out a heavy sigh, his dark eyes dull and lifeless: “Actually, I know everything about you and Zhou Yanxu. Do you know how jealous I am of him? I think about it every day. Why didn’t I meet you first? If I had met you first…would you still treat me like this?”
He had once been glad that Zhou Yanxu had passed away, but reality hit him hard. He used to think that a living person couldn’t compare to a dead person, but now he knew that whether that person was alive or not, he couldn’t compare to him.
Was he her second choice, or was he using compensation as an excuse to keep her by his side?
When she died, he was in great pain; now that she stood alive before him, he was in pain again.
She was even stingy with expressing her genuine ‘like’ to him.
Jiang Nanshu didn’t know that the reason for Lu Qingyan’s capricious behavior was actually Zhou Yanxu. This was also the first time he had mentioned that name in front of her.
Zhou Yanxu…
She met him first.
Because that’s the order in which the characters appear, these people have left their mark on her life, and she can’t erase it.
So she was somewhat amused and exasperated by Lu Qingyan’s words.
After thinking for a moment, she said, “But I’m already with you. We’re married, so there’s no possibility between him and me.”
Jiang Nanshu tried her best to defend herself.
Lu Qingyan’s eyes had lost all color: “Yes, we’re married, and you’re my wife. I went to him to find a way to save you, and before I left, he told me to take good care of you…”
Lu Qingyan clenched his fist: “Jiang Nanshu, if it weren’t for me, would there have been any possibility between you and him?”
Jiang Nanshu had never thought about this question.
She met Zhou Yanxu, and then she met Lu Qingyan.
The first one was the one she pursued; the second one was the one who loved her.
She couldn’t deny that in her youth, she harbored a secret affection for Zhou Yanxu. Later, in the original world, upon learning the truth, she tore that delicate affection to shreds beyond recognition.
If Zhou Yanxu hadn’t died, she would never have come to this world.
Jiang Nanshu thought of this.
Suddenly, she realized…
Even without all of this, she could never have been with Zhou Yanxu.
Just as she was about to answer, Lu Qingyan released her hand.
“You can leave now.”
Jiang Nanshu’s silence broke his heart.
“Lu Qingyan… There are no ‘what ifs’ in the world.”
“Get out!” He lowered his eyes. His face was pale, and his emotions were calm.
Jiang Nanshu could see the storm brewing beneath his calm exterior, but she was helpless to stop it.
Five years had turned a once composed man into a madman.
She didn’t want to upset him any further, so she turned and left.
She had only reached the ward door when she saw him pull the IV needle out of the back of his hand, and the entire IV stand was knocked over with a loud bang.
Through the crack in the door, Jiang Nanshu saw him slumped down, clutching his head and grabbing his hair, blood streaming down his arm from the back of his hands, but he didn’t seem to care.
She pursed her red lips, her eyes slightly moist.
She knew it.
There was a rift between them.
It couldn’t be repaired.
Why did they have to stay together and torture each other?
Her presence seemed to only cause Lu Qingyan more pain.
He had even lost himself.
Jiang Nanshu went to find a nurse and reported Lu Qingyan’s ward number.
A stretcher bed covered with a white sheet was pushed over from a short distance away.
Surrounding the bed were Jiang’s father, Jiang Nanshu’s five older brothers, and Jiang Leyi, whose eyes were red and swollen from crying.
They were somewhat surprised to see Jiang Nanshu standing in the corridor.
Jiang’s father, his eyes red-rimmed, excitedly stepped forward: “Nan Nan, you’re here? Did that brat at the Lu family bully you? Tell Dad.”
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Sam Williams On TYMIMA Chapter 152