Chapter Seven: “Catching Adultery”
“What do you mean, ‘How can a mountain chicken be worthy of a phoenix’? Have you watched too much of East Meets West?”
Lu Xuezhen was left speechless.
Perhaps it was the courage given to him by Ye Xue and the others that made him brave enough to retort. He quietly replied, “It’s not like I even know what you look like, big sister.”
The female ghost immediately became angry, saying, “Who are you calling ‘big sister’? If you can’t speak properly, maybe you should donate your mouth to someone who needs it.”
Upon hearing this, Lu Xuezhen’s roommate finally realized what was happening, his face filled with terror. “What do you mean ‘big sister’? The ghost is a woman?!”
The female ghost rolled her eyes elegantly and retorted, “What do you think? Do you think a man would be this clean? Stop dreaming, you filthy man.”
Then she added, “But honestly, you guys are useless. It took you so long to call a Taoist over. I was about to lose my patience with you!”
Hearing this, Ye Xue was momentarily stunned, finding it somewhat amusing. It was her first time seeing a ghost actively asking to be exorcised.
Lu Xuezhen was also taken aback and asked, “Were you doing this on purpose?”
The female ghost glared at him, as if insulted, and angrily said, “What do you think! With your puny frame, if I hadn’t ignored you, do you think you could have left this dorm?”
“Come on, let’s talk without personal attacks!” Lu Xuezhen felt furious but dared not voice it.
After her statement, Xu Zhou understood: “So, you were trapped in the pen they used to summon you?”
No wonder she only had a cold aura but no malicious intent.
This was a ghost that had never harmed anyone.
Lu Xuezhen didn’t understand: “Master, what does this mean?”
Ye Xue recalled that her master’s notes had mentioned similar situations. She explained, “The summoning ritual you performed back then wasn’t completed. You forced the ghost to come without ensuring her safe return, which resulted in her being trapped inside the pen. Her spirit can only move within your dormitory. If she doesn’t possess anyone, she can’t even leave that door.”
Lu Xuezhen understood now: “So everything she did was to force us to find a professional?”
Ye Xue nodded.
The master had once said that using violence to stop violence was unacceptable, so when encountering spirits, they usually focused on guiding them. Especially with spirits that hadn’t harmed anyone, they couldn’t easily take their lives, or it would harm their merit.
After pondering this for a moment, Lu Xuezhen felt something was off: “Wait, you torment us, but what about the girls in our class? Why did you touch them?”
The female ghost had turned his roommate into a pervert in the eyes of all the girls in class. Once he woke up to the truth, he’d be a laughingstock.
“I didn’t touch them!” the ghost exclaimed, looking as if she were being wrongfully accused. “I just thought their perfume smelled nice and wanted to see what it was!”
“And what about the strange things you said to them?” Lu Xuezhen pressed on.
“I was complimenting their skin and recommending another brand of non-run stockings! Is that so wrong?” The female ghost was bewildered. “You guys were in the dorm sharing which small movie was better; did I say anything about it?!”
Lu Xuezhen seemed to choke on his words, coughing.
Ye Xue fell silent for a moment: “…”
If it had been a girl doing those things, there would have been no problem, but now that she was possessing a big man, it was indeed easy to misinterpret her actions.
Lu Xuezhen’s roommate was completely confused: ???
They had no idea what was going on. If it weren’t for knowing the context, they would think Lu Xuezhen had gone crazy, talking to himself and asking questions with no answers.
“Alright, even if that’s the case, there’s one thing you can’t explain away,” Lu Xuezhen recalled his anxiety over the past few days, accusing her, “Why did you scare me with a knife at night? What do you gain from that?!”
“I wasn’t trying to scare you; I was just shaving my leg hair! You’re the one who’s too timid and misunderstood me!” the female ghost raised an eyebrow and continued, “Who told you guys to have nothing in your dorm? I didn’t even use a razor out of courtesy!”
“Oh, so you were using a knife to shave your legs,” Lu Xuezhen accepted that explanation, glad she hadn’t meant to scare him.
Wait a minute!
He paused, as if realizing something.
A fruit knife?!
He suddenly looked at the female ghost: “You used our fruit knife to shave your legs? What about the fruit we’ve eaten these past few days?!”
The image was so disturbing that Lu Xuezhen nearly choked. He rushed to the bathroom, gagging, “Ugh—”
His roommate, still out of the loop, suddenly reacted to what Lu Xuezhen had said, turning pale and rushing to the bathroom, “Ugh!!!”
The sounds of vomiting echoed in succession.
Ye Xue couldn’t help but twitch her mouth, clearly not expecting such a farce.
Xu Zhou, however, had to interrupt them: “Classmates, where did you put that pen?”
While Lu Xuezhen and the others were still retching, they managed to point to a bed in the dorm, “Under Lin Yichun’s pillow, ugh—”
After speaking, they continued to vomit.
High school dormitory beds usually had students’ names taped to them, so Xu Zhou quickly found Lin Yichun’s bed.
Upon seeing the student ID on top, he realized it was the same person who had been possessed by the female ghost.
No wonder the ghost had possessed him first; the pen was with him.
Xu Zhou looked at Ye Xue, who nodded slightly.
The ritual to send the ghost away had been interrupted, so they would need to use special methods.
Ye Xue took the pen, laid a piece of paper flat on the table, and placed a talisman on top of the pen.
With a sudden whoosh, the talisman ignited, bursting into flames.
As the ghost dove into the pen, she glanced up at Ye Xue, seeming to want to say something, but in the end, she said nothing and silently merged into it.
Soon, the pen began to move on its own, making several strokes on the paper, and performing a farewell ritual.
Before long, it seemed to lose its balance and fell onto the table.
The room fell silent as the pen spirit departed.
Yexue looked at the empty dormitory and suddenly said, “This female ghost is pretty nice.”
Xu Zhou thought she was sad about the ghost’s departure and was about to say something to comfort her when he heard Yexue continue, “And she’s not scary at all.”
Xu Zhou: “Cough…”
Okay, the focus of her statement should be on the second half.
They didn’t know how long they had been vomiting, but Lu Xuezhen and his roommates finally emerged from the bathroom.
Lu Xuezhen glanced around, not seeing the female ghost, and realized she was gone, feeling relieved inside.
As Lu Xuezhen’s roommates came out, they noticed the two handsome Taoist priests who had come to exorcise the ghost. Previously, they had been so focused on being tormented by the pen fairy that they hadn’t paid attention to anything else.
One of them said, “Thank you for saving our lives, Taoist! How about I give you a banner to show my gratitude?”
Xu Zhou was about to decline when he realized that the comment wasn’t directed at him; the group of male high school students was looking at Yexue with sparkling eyes.
Xu Zhou: …Fine then.
But Yexue waved her hand nonchalantly, “No need to be so polite. If you want to thank us, then maybe add a little extra reward.”
Lu Xuezhen: “…”
His roommate laughed, “You’re humorous, Taoist!”
“…?” Yexue looked confused; she was being serious.
However, since the issue was resolved, they decided not to linger. Yexue handed Lu Xuezhen and the others two talismans and instructed them to give them to Lin Yichun to help dispel the remaining Yin energy. She then reminded them to brew pomelo leaves in water to clean the dormitory before leaving.
Shortly after the two left, Lin Yichun groaned and covered his head as he woke up. “Why do I feel like I’ve been beaten?”
When he opened his eyes, he saw his roommates surrounding him with complex and sympathetic expressions.
“Why are you all looking at me like that?” Lin Yichun had no idea what had happened during the time he was possessed. As he spoke, he noticed something odd about his mouth and smacked his lips. “What’s that smell? It’s really strange.”
He remembered brushing his teeth before going to bed, right?
Lu Xuezhen’s eyes flickered as he nonchalantly kicked the mop bucket to the side.
Just as Lin Yichun was about to recall what had happened, he suddenly lifted the blanket and was shocked. His voice trembled slightly as he exclaimed, “What the hell?! Where did all my leg hair go? Why is it all bald now?!”
That night, while Yexue was asleep, she suddenly heard something knocking on her window, again and again, patiently.
She opened the window but found nothing.
Just as she was about to close it, she heard a voice calling her from outside: “Taoist, Taoist!”
Is there someone calling her Taoist? The voice sounded oddly familiar.
Yexue felt puzzled. She leaned out the window to look and spotted a long-haired female ghost waving at her from the wall not far away. It was the pen fairy ghost from earlier that day.
The Xuan Zhen Temple worshipped the Three Pure Ones and had boundless powers, so ordinary ghosts didn’t dare to approach easily. The female ghost also couldn’t come too close to the temple; she just stood behind the wall, looking at Yexue like Romeo and Juliet on the eve of elopement.
Feeling curious, Yexue threw on a jacket and went outside, looking up at the pen fairy. “Why are you here? Didn’t you get sent away?”
The female ghost looked a bit shy and quietly asked, “Taoist, do you need someone to run errands? I can wash clothes, cook, and clean. I don’t eat much and am easy to accommodate.”
Having seen the line of ghosts waiting to reincarnate in the underworld, the female ghost knew that it could take ten years or more. After today’s events, she realized that Yexue and Xu Zhou were good people. If she could gain the protection of the temple, she wouldn’t have to be bullied by wandering spirits anymore and wouldn’t have to hide at school.
Yexue shook her head gently and patiently explained, “Miss, but I’m not an exorcist; I can’t accommodate you.”
After the incident with the car accident ghost, Master Bai had privately explained to Yexue that accommodating ghosts in the temple required multiple procedures and approvals. They couldn’t just take in any ghost; even the Tianyi Temple had struggled hard to obtain a single spot for accommodating a ghost.
If the well-known Tianyi Temple had such difficulty, it was even more impossible for a small temple like theirs. It was likely that the process would drag on so long that Master Bai would be long gone by the time it was approved.
Bai Ziang knew that Yexue had good intentions and wanted to help Xuan Zhen Temple save some expenses. Therefore, he patiently explained everything to her to prevent her from trying to bring in more ghosts in the future.
Thus, the fate of the car accident ghost became a dilemma.
Originally, they planned to send the car accident ghost back. Who would have thought that after he consumed the incense from Xuan Zhen Temple, he refused to leave, stubbornly wanting to stay? It felt like taking his life away to force him out. Even using force, Yexue couldn’t change the car accident ghost’s mind.
After multiple negotiations, the car accident ghost reluctantly agreed not to stay at Xuan Zhen Temple but promised to come back at night to work there if the temple provided him with incense.
“Is it impossible?” The female ghost looked a bit disappointed after being turned down. Just as she was about to persuade Yexue again, a furious roar rang in her ears: “She already has me! She doesn’t need any other ghosts!”
The car accident ghost stormed in through the door, his presence overwhelming.
He was holding a rag and a bucket, clearly having just finished cleaning. He looked at Yexue and the female ghost as if he had caught a couple in the act.
Master Bai had said that only one ghost could remain in the temple!
But unexpectedly, while he was diligently cleaning the temple, Yexue seemed to be trying to flirt with another ghost.
Did she want to dump him now that she had a new interest? Not a chance!
How would he continue to enjoy his rightful share of offerings if that happened?
The female ghost opened her mouth, looking at Yexue with disbelief in her eyes. “Taoist, didn’t you say you couldn’t accommodate ghosts? Who is he then?”
“Hmph, exactly! Taoist, say something!” The car accident ghost spoke in a tone that sounded oddly sarcastic.
These two ghosts looked at her like she was a scumbag playing both sides.
Yexue felt speechless.
She thought for a moment and explained, “Uh, he’s… an undocumented resident?”
Sam Williams On TYMIMA Chapter 152